"So you Know it's okay..."

Is it? is it ever? i really hate arguing, i hate it with every fiber of my being.. i don't even have a clue how that happened.. how it even got there? all i know is i am exhausted.. and now upset.. and probably won't fall asleep at all now. i don't think much makes sense anymore.. did it ever? am i just over tired? mocha is up with me.. staring at me.. gah... i don't know what i am thinking or feeling right now.. i can't make heads or tails of any of this.. lordy. i just hope dan makes it home safely tomorrow.. and i wish i wasn't such an asshole. because i really am.. i do things i don't even realize i am doing that effect people in negative ways. and since i don't realize i am doing it.. how can i fix this? probably can't.. i am domed to be an ass forever. jesus.. why am i even writing? i need to go to bed.