A.A. NOT Today!
My friend whom i spoke of in my last entry and i have recently been attending A.A. it is required for her drug rehabilitation program. My initial experience was all right, people there tend to throw phrases around such as; "sober life is an easier life," "we can stay sober if we take one day at a time," this is all well and good but then they start getting into this.... "the only way to be sober is to have a vital spiritual awakening," "give it up to god" and "he (god) is giving you a gift, take it." this is where my attitude changes, i have no other reason to go to A. A. except to support my friend. so i get to thinking these poor people are are becoming brainwashed into a religious following! they all so badly want to change their lives and everyone around them tells them about god. (this just goes back to my previous entry about how christianity is so forced!) to me admitting that you are powerless over your addiction (which has been proven time and time again to not be true, oh and might i add the "disease" of alcoholism.... disease..... a fucking disease.... look, the girl i am going with quit HEROIN on her own which is 1,000,000,000 times more addictive than Alcohol did she run around calling it the disease of heroinism? no because it isn't a fucking disease, you made it one to glorify the fact that you don't have any will power!) ok.... and that a "higher power" (which seems to only be god although they say you can pray to rock) will restore you to sanity, which means you are absolving yourself of all responsibility, you are giving it up to god! he will save you! you no longer have any control over your own life. yes you do! JUST STOP DOING IT! it really is that easy! you made the choice to pick up that first drink and you made the choice to continue drinking until you became addicted and could no longer decern when you had enough. now just make the decision to JUST STOP. the one step program. you don't need your imaginary friend god to do it for you. what happened to personal power? self esteem? the human mind and spirit? poof! out the window it went! you all ready made the first step, you went to A. A. so you must have a desire to quit right? well... find a good friend like we did and both of you can pray to each other *rolls eyes* my friend who i am attending this with is forced to go, yes forced, court ordered to believe in god! (what ever happened to the separation of church and state?!!?) she is court ordered to say "the lords prayer" (which cracks me up, because most christians don't know that that isn't really a prayer, it's jesus telling us what to pray for. retards.) and let me tell you something, you probably think they wouldn't notice in a group of 40 people if we prayed or not, boy let me tell you they do! they take notice and they then decide they are pompous and arrogant enough to come over to you and holler at you for not doing just that. these meetings where the old familiar smell of burnt out church candles stings the nostrils and burnt coffee fills the air, people are becoming brainwashed in basements of churches and schools all over the country, to the eerily yet soothing smell. drones blindly following the man with the candles, giving up all their personality to this man, or woman or what have you. it's headache inducing, someone actually said, "it takes two months to manipulate peoples brains" and even though they put it right out on the table the sheep follow blindly. Its like a scary cult, i mean think about it, they take away your self worth, they force you to believe in god, they force you to pray, they only feed you coffee and if you are lucky donuts, they meet in basements of churches and schools where no one can see them, you are only aloud to talk about certain things, and you have to be an alcoholic. in fact on that note... i had to lie the last time and say that i was an alcoholic or i would have been kicked out. in-fact they almost kicked out one girl because she was a drug addict and didn't say that she was an alcoholic (truth be told a lot of N.A. members go to A.A. because a lot of drug dealers go to N.A. to peddle their wares) so this poor girl go singled out in front of a group of 46 people all staring at her... i thought god didn't discriminate.