CT again..

we went to ct.. the race never even happened it got stormed out! rar.. but T thought the storm was cool anyways! :) we went to the lake house in Old Lyme and my mom took me and T to a great book store called "The Book Barn" it was a multi building bookstore.. they buy old books and sell books for like a buck. they were all themed, like one was horror themed.. for the horror books.. it had spider-webs a black cat.. a live one.. gargoyles etc. there was a goat pen that was cool too one tried to eat my dress. i had a good time. we went into some other stores too little shoppes and had lunch at some seafood place on the boardwalk in Niantic. great food at that too. then we headed back for Fairfield. My dad changed my oil, my bother came home stoned and we didn't see him at all while we were there. guess he doesn't care to see me.. thats cool. screw him too. we hung out with N and looked at some wedding pictures he too. he is soo good with a camera.  i am quite jealous one of the ones in particular was the flower girl on the fountain. he captured that one almost flawlessly.. then N followed us back to Pa and spent the night here on friday, he is gone now.. he will be back monday we hope!!!! he went to visit some other friends in central pa.. :( we miss him :) lol.. well any ways.. thats all!

Interesting Lyrics...

So everyone i know hates and i mean hates Phish.. but me.. i love them. they all say that their lyrics are shit. i dissagree. does anyone ever take the time? probably not.. well here's some... 


Welcome this is a Farmhouse
We have cluster flies alas
And this time of year is bad
We are so very sorry,
There's little we can do 
But swat them

She didn't beg oh, not enough
She didn't stay when things got tough
I told a lie and she got mad
She wasn't there when things got bad

I never say the northern lights
I never really heard of cluster flies
Never ever saw the stars so bright
In the farmhouse things will be alright

Woke this morning to the stinging lash 
Every man rise from the ash
Each betrayal begins with trust
Every man returns to dust

take or think from that what you will .. i think its intuitive, and there is a story, all you phish haters suck.


idle thoughts.

I was sitting here listening to the four seasons and the temptations, thinking about my life. i am taking timmy to CT on sunday night, my dad placed first in class first in fleet in the boat race therefore he is going to finals. he invited me and timmy as one of the crew. everyone keeps reminding me that not many people have chances like this. i feel like i take what was given to me in life for granted. that i just float on with out realizing that i am a very lucky person. i had vacation homes, boats, cars, vacations... i saw many things.. not a lot of people get that. am i that oblivious? i am just happy i can give that to timmy. i was brushing up on his nautical speak, teaching him about the boat so he can be a useful crew member rather than a tagalong.... and my friends here in pa think i am insane because i know all about boats. sail boats are for snobs. i guess... but its what i know. and i am excited to share it with timmy. we are going on a mommy son vacation. he will die when he sees how intense the race will be. i grew up on the beach, at the university swimming pool the lake and the cascades.. i can take him to the boardwalk at captain's cove... its his birthday. i don't know... why does everyone need to make me second guess my life? is it really bad that i had all that? or is it just shear jealousy? because if thats the problem ill take everyone with me the next time. my family was brought up to not be snobby and posh like the rest of the rich kids. i think i avoided the stigma that goes with it. i am far from a snob. i spend my life sharing what i have and loving everyone. a snob couldn't or wouldn't give a normal non rich person the time of day! that is not me i talk to everyone. fuck.


From Great To Shit...

i was so happy.. i thought i could move out to montrose and actually have a nice place out there... well as it turns out the base pay for a CNA in montrose is $7.75 and i would like to add that the minimum wage in pa is $7.15 so i would make just a little over minimum. its ridicules! in scranton a CNA makes $15.95 and its only one county away. the worst part is the rent in montrose is just the same as the rent in scranton. its unreal. so now we are looking in tunkhannock, i used to believe in fate, i thought that i was meant to meet the man i did in montrose when i was looking for an a house. i thought that it was destiny that my dream would be full-filled earlier than i thought i would come to fruition. if i can't find anything in tunkhannock i will look BACK in clarks summit. i am not a huge fan of cs but.. a home is a home and i just want one. i want to be some place i can be happy. we'll see if that can happen. i hope if ANYONE is reading this please say a prayer or send some good chi for me... what ever you believe. please