Who the hell am i?

the great dilemma! not really sure any of us know the answer to that.. recently i was faced with some hard choices.. my answers to them.. leave me thinking well is that really something i would do?? not really sure.. what difference does it make what i do anyways? no ones watching.. *sigh* i think i might be spiraling into depression and taking a few people with me.. or they are taking me with them.. what has this place come to? this life? were you cant even trust your own family? its like one big joke.. we all get together and pretend to like each other. why? for what purpose? we dont have to. but we feel obligated to. i wish i could just slip away.. somehow.. just start over.. make better choices... do something worthwhile. stop blaming myself for things i cannot change. for things i had nothing to do with. i have all ways been good at drawing a nonexistent parallel line between myself and the bad that happens to people. and all i want is for  good to come to those i care about. but my mom says.. Karin you can't save the world! well why not?!? im determined enough.. everyone is so negative.. how about some positive for a change? fuck who am i kidding.. the world is a negative place. if everyone wanted to make a difference.. there would be a huge change.. but no one cares.. no one can see past the tip of their noses. where did humanity go wrong?