9.24.2008

Wheels of the crazy... History is repeating it's self...

My brother is slipping away... maybe it's because i watch too much CSI or too much Law and Order ... but i have been doing a lot of thinking and analyzing of things and why my brother is the way he is.. and what he has the potential to become. In my recent talks with his girlfriend.. who lately i have become quite close with.. and quite worried for. i have learned a lot... she tells stories.. of things he does which oddly enough are exact accounts of things that have happened in my life. things my dad caused to happen to me. now i should say that my father and i have a sorted past.. but things have changed and all has been forgiven.. now i am left with only a foul taste in my mouth and some sour memories which i have since buried deep.. well hearing accounts of them brought them back.. no worries.. i sent them away again.. but i think i have made some connections that unfortunately only i may be able to make. when i left for Marvelwood.. my relationship with my brother ended. he no longer had any sort of interest in me at all what so ever. well i partially left to get away from the not so friendly situation at home. i almost wonder if my father turned on my brother when i left. he has all the same traits as my dad. the same violence. the same mannerisms.. the same hatred of tears.. the same red-faced spiting rage that corners you in a room.. the same vice grip on your wrists the same threats the same demeaning mannerisms. my brother has taken on the demon my dad got rid of. and he has taken it to a new level. i have accepted that my brother may never be good again. he is killing animals.. and no i don't mean hunting.. yes he hunts.. but he beat a squirrel to death with a lead pipe.. and gloated about it.. that is torture.. that is much different that one bullet.. and apparently he is blowing them up with m 80's too... and most serial killers torment animals first.. then move on to humans.. he beats his poor girl friend. i begged her to get away from him. i know she wont listen to me. i can just pray that one day she will have the strength to get away before she is his first human victim.

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