11.26.2008

God i am hurting..


Michael just left for his mothers... left on the worst of terms.. with the coldness of hate.. with words that stung and pierced right through me.. i should never have stayed.. as much at my family can be hard to swallow in ct at least it would be better than this.. i want to be with my aunt nancy anyways.. she's only getting worse i just talked to my father earlier.. and he told me like it was no sugar coating.. that she is not going to get better.. i just want to be there.. i want to be with her.. or something... hell i don't know what i want.. i just know this is not it... i can't take the cold words the loneliness.. this is just not right.. this life is not what i wanted.. not what i asked for.. not what i dreamed about.. maybe i did something to deserve all this.. for the people i hurt in my life.. its all coming back on me and 10 fold.. god..

2 comments:

Radioactive Jam said...

There never seem to be good words for comfort and encouragement when most needed, and there aren't any shortcuts through difficult times, no cures for feelings of helplessness.

And yet.

Maybe it helps to know you have people on your side, people thinking of you, hoping you see changes for good as the days unfold.

--bc

BluExtacy said...

First, thank you, you are a wise insightful person, your words mean alot to me. Second.. you are the first person to ever leave me a comment :)