1.31.2009

The day the world went away..

If i had to pick a series of events i didn't want to string together to be a day in my life.. today would be it. I have been feeling terrible lately, the stress and dark waves sarah brought into my hope made me sick, physically, emotionally and mentally. they consumed my being.. created an environment, that i could not live with her in. they broke every threshold and realm of my patience, sanity and whatever else. i snapped. i don't loose control very often. i don't like it when i do. i become this monster.. who isn't me. i disgust myself. with that said, i was supposed to go to my Aunt Helen's funeral today, i didn't, Michael couldn't wake me up. he put forth quite the valiant effort i am told. i was dead to the world. i missed it. i was heart broken. then Nikki came over, everything was fine. until we got talking about the guild on Neopets.com of all freggin things. this created a massive argument. then Sarah decided to hide in her room screaming at nothing.. but seemingly screaming at someone.. we listened for upwards of 20 mins before jackie finally went in and asked her who she was talking to. so, yeah .. that didn't go over well.. and she then started flipping on jackie too.. and it went on from there.. from about 6pm till 9:15 pm was when we got her into the car with her shit packed on the way back to CT.. enough was enough! and good riddance to bad people. stuck her in the back seat with the child safety locks on.. like the child she is.. She went to say something to Jackie but realized the child safety locks were up so gave a glaring stare of death instead. Don't think for a second that any of this was overkill.. she did try to get out. and if you could hear her scream... it is like a demented banshie thing.. its horrible.. quite possibly the worst sound i have ever heard in my entire life. so, as if the screaming demon child wasn't enough, they left for CT, Nikki called, and i had to listen to her for a few hours say horrible things to me like, "can you physically have a child? is that why you take people into your home so much?" and that i treat Mike like shit and things of that nature.. and basically everything i have ever done wrong in my life over the years, and then even go as far as to bring up something from a past very painful relationship that i had since pushed out of my mind. but.. apparently since she is so miserable i have to be too.. her life isn't perfect so she has to psycho analyze mine.. and demean me to her level or misery. and this is coming from someone who i consider to be my sister. she broke my heart. and i mean broke it. getting hit in the head with a brick would have paled in comparison.. so yeah.. welcome to my day.. fuck. Jackie's account of the day...

4 comments:

Lost said...

*hugs*

I'm sorry hun.

BluExtacy said...

you know it's interesting... we all see these things through such different eyes.. on one hand there is such a funny side to all this stuff.. jax found that.. and when i took a step back.. and though about it all... it's really just so so so sad.. so terrible.. so... just... what the fuck?

Lost said...

There is always more than one side to everything.

BluExtacy said...

it's always his/her's, your's, and the truth... lol.. or so my mum used to say.. oy vay.