12.26.2008

Lesbian Lovers

"Life is a highway... and i'm gonna ride it all night long"... whoa with the cheese... sooo Jackie and i went to Honesdale today.. and to the alpine.. we saw many exciting things.. well maybe not exciting.. but amusing to say the very least.. like the fat chick walking the highway.. i am pretty sure she could have passed for a semi.. i mean she took up more room than my car.. then we had to contend with all the morons on the road who were doing the after christmas gift exchange and shopping. I am really trying desperately to comprehend why people have to come to a complete stop before making a turn? its really quite the most obnoxious thing i have ever encountered short of the song that doesn't end. I kept wishing i had inspector gadgets car.. in fact i said "go go gadget car" out loud... (which resulted in a laughing fit on both of our parts) in hopes that my car would suddenly grow taller and i could just drive above all the assholes on the road. we reminisced about the "Great Keystone Black Out" and driving back to the college from nikkis only to find there was no power, and while i was smoking pot with tom in the sculpture studio with our oil lanterns.. jackie was trying to calm down a dumb bitch who was convinced that Armageddon was coming. she is now a little annoyed with me for not rescuing her.. oops. we had a really nice luncheon at the Alpine best food in the world.. i mean seriously. and then spent way to much money on candy and wurst... jackie was very unhappy that they were out of beef tongue.. but they did have the blood tongue (which is so worse.. like there is blood in it.. congealed in jelly.. *vomits* she tried it and almost threw up. not to mention it was pork which is a no no) we went out to nikki's house and gave my nieces their presents which was adorable.. but apparently i am inept b.c i couldn't figure out a kids toy.. though jackie had trouble getting the wings on the barbie. when jackie got out of the car.. she was slipping on the ice saying "nice" every time she slipped... so we now call ice nice... and she slipped and hit her head HARD on the ice in the driveway.. to give you an idea.. my car slipped backwards down the driveway in park, with the e-break and my foot on the break peddle...(i would also like to interject that the whole time at nikkis house she was txting seth about all the Lesbian "sex" we were having in the parking lot of the wall mart.) then we drove up to the star... looked at the town.. yeah then drove home, i was trying to charge my phone which i propped up with a tampon (the only thing i had at the time) to which jackie called it the elephant tampon and said thats like sticking an elephant in your vagina.. yeah.. so now we are going to drink some rum and make a ginger bread house, which may not work.. i mean alcohol and building things? we might as well hang little shoes on the telephone wire outside our gingerbread house and say crack heads built it. don't worry pictures will follow...

Jackie has just informed me that her head is moving... and spiny and stuff... yeah... ummm jello shots anyone?


Jonathan's Diner 9:30 am
This one speaks for it's self.. at 11 am
Da Alpine...
Lunch... mmmm
View from the star...
The abominable snow man... huh?

2 comments:

Lost said...

Hmms..

BluExtacy said...

all you do is humms? you were looking forward to that one.. ewww you are so no fun... she wrote one too.. maybe you'll find hers more amusing.